This is the most intense seatbelt advert of all time. They show it every time I go to the movies and it scares the poop out of me.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=rq9OLd-XtHE
They are pretty hardcore here in Scotland when it comes to wearing your seatbelt.
Later days,
Monday, December 15, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Finals Week's
It's finals time. Sorry for the lack of posting; but here is an excerpt from an essay I wrote which is kind of amusing.
The state was free to decide how it wanted to view the world and the outcome does not change the fact that the state held a different belief than that of the hegemonic power. Imagine a man who is a devout follower of pantheistic religion. The man dies, goes to heaven, and discovers that not only does a single all-powerful god exist; but He is a spaghetti monster. The existence of the spaghetti monster god does not change the fact that the man was once believed that there wasn’t a single god. The fact that a state which held a non-realist view of international politics is conquered by a hegemonic power does not change the fact that there was a point in time when the two states had differing interpretations and views of international politics. The reality that one state conquered another does not change the fact that two different view points can exist.
Later days,
The state was free to decide how it wanted to view the world and the outcome does not change the fact that the state held a different belief than that of the hegemonic power. Imagine a man who is a devout follower of pantheistic religion. The man dies, goes to heaven, and discovers that not only does a single all-powerful god exist; but He is a spaghetti monster. The existence of the spaghetti monster god does not change the fact that the man was once believed that there wasn’t a single god. The fact that a state which held a non-realist view of international politics is conquered by a hegemonic power does not change the fact that there was a point in time when the two states had differing interpretations and views of international politics. The reality that one state conquered another does not change the fact that two different view points can exist.
Later days,
Friday, December 5, 2008
The English Don't Speak English
Except for those 3 weeks when I spoke in tongues, I have been speaking English for my entire life. I know English when I hear it and English people do not speak English. I would like to share an email with you that I received from my London friend, George. This is the email:
Hello Evan,
Are you coming along to the postgraduate reception this afternoon? My phone is still playing silly buggers annoyingly.
Sincerely,
George
Now, I would like you to read that again, to make sure you read it correctly: My phone is still playing silly buggers annoyingly. What can George possibly mean by that? My phone is still playing silly buggers annoyingly. It is a conundrum. And I would like to solve it. Let’s examine George’s possible meanings:
1. Perhaps this is this some kind of new cell phone game- a version of the timeless snake game remade for the 21nd century? Is Silly Buggers a game where you try to have a silly bugger grow whilst hovering above a fly trap? If so, what’s annoying about it? Is the game broken? Can he not play in a non-annoying way?
2. Maybe ‘Silly Buggers’ is George’s ring tone and he is telling me that there is something wrong and the phone is not playing it correctly or it is playing it correctly, but it is playing it really loudly and that is annoying. But, as I am unfamiliar with a ring tone called ‘silly buggers’, the tone might just as easily be called ‘silly buggers annoyingly’. I have no reason to think otherwise. The phone itself might not be acting in an annoying way at all. It fact, maybe it is doing exactly what it is suppose to do. Maybe he is simply informing me that his phone is still playing the ‘silly buggers annoyingly’ ring tone and he wants me to call him so I can hear it. I bet it makes a buzzing sound when it vibrates.
3. Maybe he means ‘playing’ as a transitive verb and he means ‘to assume the role of’, so in this case, the phone has assumed the role of silly buggers, which, as you can imagine, is quite annoying. I wonder if something like that is covered in the warrantee.
4. Of course, if we are talking about ‘playing’ as a transitive verb he could just as easily be using it as it relates to sport. He might mean ‘playing’ as in an attempt to keep or gain possession or control of, like: no foul was called because he was playing the silly bugger annoyingly. That would make sense because I know George is fond of football (soccer).
5. Speaking of sport, play can also mean to put a bet on. Is his phone playing the races? Could Silly Buggers be a horse’s name? Maybe the phone is playing 50 quid on Silly Buggers to place. Maybe his phone is a compulsive gambler. That would be annoying.
6. Fishing is a sport too. When you hook a fish you might play it to exhaust the hooked fish by allowing said fish to pull on the line. Maybe the phone is doing the same thing to the silly buggers and its annoying because George just wants the phone to reel it in so he can eat.
7. Maybe he is talking about the reception his phone receives. I mean, Sarah Palin’s speeches did not play well with feminist audiences. Maybe Georges’s phone is playing annoyingly to the silly buggers.
8. Is Silly Buggers a place? Maybe his phone is on tour and its going to play Silly Buggers after it plays Sheffield.
9. You can also play one enemy against another. Could George’s phone be trying to use or manipulate silly buggers for its own interest? I can see how a moral person like George would find that sort of action to play annoyingly on his conscience.
10. Now, I don’t want to get carried away here; but do you think it’s possible that George might be using ‘playing’ as an intransitive verb? In this case, maybe George means that his phone is discharging uninterruptedly. Could the phone be discharging silly buggers? What exactly is a bugger? We would need to understand that in order to grasp the issues at hand if his phone is, indeed, discharging them. I asked my staff to do some research and they found the following image on google images when ‘silly bugger’ was entered into the search bar:
Is this a silly bugger? It kinda looks like a cat with its face stuck in a glass. How could cats be discharging uninterruptedly from George's phone.
The English language, in the hands of the English, is indecipherable. It's like Stephen Spielberg and George Lucas doing re-releases of Star Wars. It’s awesome that they came up with something cool; but they should not be allowed to change it once it was made because they will invariably mess it up. I have absolutely no idea what George is talking about. I’m sorry that I couldn’t figure it out; but don’t think that this was a waste of your time. I had a really good time playing with words here, and that’s important too. In fact, my playing around is all that should matter, so don’t you dare think this was a waste of time.
Ps. When my staff was conducting a google image search for silly bugger, the following entry was found on Urban Dictionary:
Silly Buggers
British origin.
Evolving from the term of abuse bugger, meaning a sodomite or irritating person. To play 'silly buggers' is to generally act the fool, lark about, waste time or generally mess things up. As illustrated by English band The Bus Station Loonies song "Playing Silly Buggers" (1995).
"They were too busy playing silly buggers to get the job completed in time".
I suppose this makes this entire post irrelevant. Sorry about that. Maybe this was a waste of time.
Pps. Click here: http://www.sillybuggers.org.uk/
Later days,
Hello Evan,
Are you coming along to the postgraduate reception this afternoon? My phone is still playing silly buggers annoyingly.
Sincerely,
George
Now, I would like you to read that again, to make sure you read it correctly: My phone is still playing silly buggers annoyingly. What can George possibly mean by that? My phone is still playing silly buggers annoyingly. It is a conundrum. And I would like to solve it. Let’s examine George’s possible meanings:
1. Perhaps this is this some kind of new cell phone game- a version of the timeless snake game remade for the 21nd century? Is Silly Buggers a game where you try to have a silly bugger grow whilst hovering above a fly trap? If so, what’s annoying about it? Is the game broken? Can he not play in a non-annoying way?
2. Maybe ‘Silly Buggers’ is George’s ring tone and he is telling me that there is something wrong and the phone is not playing it correctly or it is playing it correctly, but it is playing it really loudly and that is annoying. But, as I am unfamiliar with a ring tone called ‘silly buggers’, the tone might just as easily be called ‘silly buggers annoyingly’. I have no reason to think otherwise. The phone itself might not be acting in an annoying way at all. It fact, maybe it is doing exactly what it is suppose to do. Maybe he is simply informing me that his phone is still playing the ‘silly buggers annoyingly’ ring tone and he wants me to call him so I can hear it. I bet it makes a buzzing sound when it vibrates.
3. Maybe he means ‘playing’ as a transitive verb and he means ‘to assume the role of’, so in this case, the phone has assumed the role of silly buggers, which, as you can imagine, is quite annoying. I wonder if something like that is covered in the warrantee.
4. Of course, if we are talking about ‘playing’ as a transitive verb he could just as easily be using it as it relates to sport. He might mean ‘playing’ as in an attempt to keep or gain possession or control of, like: no foul was called because he was playing the silly bugger annoyingly. That would make sense because I know George is fond of football (soccer).
5. Speaking of sport, play can also mean to put a bet on. Is his phone playing the races? Could Silly Buggers be a horse’s name? Maybe the phone is playing 50 quid on Silly Buggers to place. Maybe his phone is a compulsive gambler. That would be annoying.
6. Fishing is a sport too. When you hook a fish you might play it to exhaust the hooked fish by allowing said fish to pull on the line. Maybe the phone is doing the same thing to the silly buggers and its annoying because George just wants the phone to reel it in so he can eat.
7. Maybe he is talking about the reception his phone receives. I mean, Sarah Palin’s speeches did not play well with feminist audiences. Maybe Georges’s phone is playing annoyingly to the silly buggers.
8. Is Silly Buggers a place? Maybe his phone is on tour and its going to play Silly Buggers after it plays Sheffield.
9. You can also play one enemy against another. Could George’s phone be trying to use or manipulate silly buggers for its own interest? I can see how a moral person like George would find that sort of action to play annoyingly on his conscience.
10. Now, I don’t want to get carried away here; but do you think it’s possible that George might be using ‘playing’ as an intransitive verb? In this case, maybe George means that his phone is discharging uninterruptedly. Could the phone be discharging silly buggers? What exactly is a bugger? We would need to understand that in order to grasp the issues at hand if his phone is, indeed, discharging them. I asked my staff to do some research and they found the following image on google images when ‘silly bugger’ was entered into the search bar:
Is this a silly bugger? It kinda looks like a cat with its face stuck in a glass. How could cats be discharging uninterruptedly from George's phone.
The English language, in the hands of the English, is indecipherable. It's like Stephen Spielberg and George Lucas doing re-releases of Star Wars. It’s awesome that they came up with something cool; but they should not be allowed to change it once it was made because they will invariably mess it up. I have absolutely no idea what George is talking about. I’m sorry that I couldn’t figure it out; but don’t think that this was a waste of your time. I had a really good time playing with words here, and that’s important too. In fact, my playing around is all that should matter, so don’t you dare think this was a waste of time.
Ps. When my staff was conducting a google image search for silly bugger, the following entry was found on Urban Dictionary:
Silly Buggers
British origin.
Evolving from the term of abuse bugger, meaning a sodomite or irritating person. To play 'silly buggers' is to generally act the fool, lark about, waste time or generally mess things up. As illustrated by English band The Bus Station Loonies song "Playing Silly Buggers" (1995).
"They were too busy playing silly buggers to get the job completed in time".
I suppose this makes this entire post irrelevant. Sorry about that. Maybe this was a waste of time.
Pps. Click here: http://www.sillybuggers.org.uk/
Later days,
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Christmas is Cancelled
Hey remember that episode of The Office where Michael’s heart is broken and he tries to take Christmas way from every one? It was all funny and stuff; but no one is laughing now.
(click here if you are unformiliar with this episode or just want to watch it again because The Office is awesome)
Please read the email below:
Risk Management Partners
Christmas Social – 19/21 December 2008
Newcastle
This year we are going to Newcastle.
Accommodation
This has been booked at the Hilton Hotel, Gateshead for the Friday and Saturday nights, with dinner on the Friday night and bed and breakfast on the Saturday and Sunday mornings. Dinner is to be taken informally on the Friday night, when you feel like it. We don’t need to all sit down together.
Saturday
We are off to Newcastle Races. A bus will pick us up at the hotel at 11.00 and take us to the racecourse where we will have a private room overlooking the racing. The format for the day is as follows :
11.30 Bucks Fizz reception
11.45 Buffet lunch
12.10 First race
15.00 Afternoon tea
15.25 Last race
16.30 Bar closes
16.45 Bus takes us back to the hotel
There is a strict dress code at the Premier Enclosure. Guys are requested to wear dress trousers and collared shirts. No denims, trainers, or informal attire is permitted.
There is nothing arranged for the Saturday evening. Once we are back at the hotel, everyone will be left to their own devices. People can go to the various dens of iniquity in Newcastle they so choose.
Costs
As you will be aware, due to the expenses and tax liability implications, the costs have to be considered very carefully. It has been decided that RMP will pick up the dinner and accommodation costs at the Hilton and the package costs for the racecourse. Any travel costs should be claimed back through expenses form.
Yeah, sounds awesome, right? Ok, now read this email:
I took part in Pat Gallagher's monthly Senior Managers conference call on Wednesday which quite frankly was not a pleasant experience. I say that from the point of view that Company results, particularly October's, were a disaster. Pat actually described them as a train wreck !
Given the above, the current economic outlook and the way things are stacking up for 2009 some fairly tough decisions have had to be made regarding expenses claims. With immediate effect the following measures will be introduced ;
1) All airfare travel expenses must be approved by me prior to travel and bookings can only be made through Expedia. Failure to comply with this instruction will result in expenses not being reimbursed.
2) All Christmas Parties are cancelled The Company will not reimburse any expenses for holiday get togethers for employees. This includes lunches, drinks,breakfast ect. Our pre Christmas get together in Newcastle will have to be cancelled and I am genuinely sorry but this is not a situation that allows me to negotiate exemptions for RMP. If you are committed to Christmas entertainment with Brokers or Customers please let me know before going ahead who is involved, likely cost and what the business justification is. At this stage I am not saying that they will have to be cancelled, but I need to be satisfied that there is some justification for going ahead with them. Again without prior clearance I will be unable to authorise payment.
3) Please, absolutely no gifts, gift vouchers and the like to anybody .
That’s right, J. Patrick Gallagher has cancelled Christmas. J. Patrick Gallagher, your heart is like 3 sizes too small. Who’s disappointed? This guy. And it’s the little people who suffer always suffer. Do you have any idea how incredibly drunk I would have gotten at the race tracks? The race tracks are filled with bad memories for me. I did a lot of things down there that I shouldn’t discuss in a family blog. The whole financial crisis is fine until it effects someone you love: namely me. Mine is the sum total of all financial suffering.
Later days,
(click here if you are unformiliar with this episode or just want to watch it again because The Office is awesome)
Please read the email below:
Risk Management Partners
Christmas Social – 19/21 December 2008
Newcastle
This year we are going to Newcastle.
Accommodation
This has been booked at the Hilton Hotel, Gateshead for the Friday and Saturday nights, with dinner on the Friday night and bed and breakfast on the Saturday and Sunday mornings. Dinner is to be taken informally on the Friday night, when you feel like it. We don’t need to all sit down together.
Saturday
We are off to Newcastle Races. A bus will pick us up at the hotel at 11.00 and take us to the racecourse where we will have a private room overlooking the racing. The format for the day is as follows :
11.30 Bucks Fizz reception
11.45 Buffet lunch
12.10 First race
15.00 Afternoon tea
15.25 Last race
16.30 Bar closes
16.45 Bus takes us back to the hotel
There is a strict dress code at the Premier Enclosure. Guys are requested to wear dress trousers and collared shirts. No denims, trainers, or informal attire is permitted.
There is nothing arranged for the Saturday evening. Once we are back at the hotel, everyone will be left to their own devices. People can go to the various dens of iniquity in Newcastle they so choose.
Costs
As you will be aware, due to the expenses and tax liability implications, the costs have to be considered very carefully. It has been decided that RMP will pick up the dinner and accommodation costs at the Hilton and the package costs for the racecourse. Any travel costs should be claimed back through expenses form.
Yeah, sounds awesome, right? Ok, now read this email:
I took part in Pat Gallagher's monthly Senior Managers conference call on Wednesday which quite frankly was not a pleasant experience. I say that from the point of view that Company results, particularly October's, were a disaster. Pat actually described them as a train wreck !
Given the above, the current economic outlook and the way things are stacking up for 2009 some fairly tough decisions have had to be made regarding expenses claims. With immediate effect the following measures will be introduced ;
1) All airfare travel expenses must be approved by me prior to travel and bookings can only be made through Expedia. Failure to comply with this instruction will result in expenses not being reimbursed.
2) All Christmas Parties are cancelled The Company will not reimburse any expenses for holiday get togethers for employees. This includes lunches, drinks,breakfast ect. Our pre Christmas get together in Newcastle will have to be cancelled and I am genuinely sorry but this is not a situation that allows me to negotiate exemptions for RMP. If you are committed to Christmas entertainment with Brokers or Customers please let me know before going ahead who is involved, likely cost and what the business justification is. At this stage I am not saying that they will have to be cancelled, but I need to be satisfied that there is some justification for going ahead with them. Again without prior clearance I will be unable to authorise payment.
3) Please, absolutely no gifts, gift vouchers and the like to anybody .
That’s right, J. Patrick Gallagher has cancelled Christmas. J. Patrick Gallagher, your heart is like 3 sizes too small. Who’s disappointed? This guy. And it’s the little people who suffer always suffer. Do you have any idea how incredibly drunk I would have gotten at the race tracks? The race tracks are filled with bad memories for me. I did a lot of things down there that I shouldn’t discuss in a family blog. The whole financial crisis is fine until it effects someone you love: namely me. Mine is the sum total of all financial suffering.
Later days,
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