Hello Evan,
Are you coming along to the postgraduate reception this afternoon? My phone is still playing silly buggers annoyingly.
Sincerely,
George
Now, I would like you to read that again, to make sure you read it correctly: My phone is still playing silly buggers annoyingly. What can George possibly mean by that? My phone is still playing silly buggers annoyingly. It is a conundrum. And I would like to solve it. Let’s examine George’s possible meanings:
1. Perhaps this is this some kind of new cell phone game- a version of the timeless snake game remade for the 21nd century? Is Silly Buggers a game where you try to have a silly bugger grow whilst hovering above a fly trap? If so, what’s annoying about it? Is the game broken? Can he not play in a non-annoying way?
2. Maybe ‘Silly Buggers’ is George’s ring tone and he is telling me that there is something wrong and the phone is not playing it correctly or it is playing it correctly, but it is playing it really loudly and that is annoying. But, as I am unfamiliar with a ring tone called ‘silly buggers’, the tone might just as easily be called ‘silly buggers annoyingly’. I have no reason to think otherwise. The phone itself might not be acting in an annoying way at all. It fact, maybe it is doing exactly what it is suppose to do. Maybe he is simply informing me that his phone is still playing the ‘silly buggers annoyingly’ ring tone and he wants me to call him so I can hear it. I bet it makes a buzzing sound when it vibrates.
3. Maybe he means ‘playing’ as a transitive verb and he means ‘to assume the role of’, so in this case, the phone has assumed the role of silly buggers, which, as you can imagine, is quite annoying. I wonder if something like that is covered in the warrantee.
4. Of course, if we are talking about ‘playing’ as a transitive verb he could just as easily be using it as it relates to sport. He might mean ‘playing’ as in an attempt to keep or gain possession or control of, like: no foul was called because he was playing the silly bugger annoyingly. That would make sense because I know George is fond of football (soccer).
5. Speaking of sport, play can also mean to put a bet on. Is his phone playing the races? Could Silly Buggers be a horse’s name? Maybe the phone is playing 50 quid on Silly Buggers to place. Maybe his phone is a compulsive gambler. That would be annoying.
6. Fishing is a sport too. When you hook a fish you might play it to exhaust the hooked fish by allowing said fish to pull on the line. Maybe the phone is doing the same thing to the silly buggers and its annoying because George just wants the phone to reel it in so he can eat.
7. Maybe he is talking about the reception his phone receives. I mean, Sarah Palin’s speeches did not play well with feminist audiences. Maybe Georges’s phone is playing annoyingly to the silly buggers.
8. Is Silly Buggers a place? Maybe his phone is on tour and its going to play Silly Buggers after it plays Sheffield.
9. You can also play one enemy against another. Could George’s phone be trying to use or manipulate silly buggers for its own interest? I can see how a moral person like George would find that sort of action to play annoyingly on his conscience.
10. Now, I don’t want to get carried away here; but do you think it’s possible that George might be using ‘playing’ as an intransitive verb? In this case, maybe George means that his phone is discharging uninterruptedly. Could the phone be discharging silly buggers? What exactly is a bugger? We would need to understand that in order to grasp the issues at hand if his phone is, indeed, discharging them. I asked my staff to do some research and they found the following image on google images when ‘silly bugger’ was entered into the search bar:
Is this a silly bugger? It kinda looks like a cat with its face stuck in a glass. How could cats be discharging uninterruptedly from George's phone.
The English language, in the hands of the English, is indecipherable. It's like Stephen Spielberg and George Lucas doing re-releases of Star Wars. It’s awesome that they came up with something cool; but they should not be allowed to change it once it was made because they will invariably mess it up. I have absolutely no idea what George is talking about. I’m sorry that I couldn’t figure it out; but don’t think that this was a waste of your time. I had a really good time playing with words here, and that’s important too. In fact, my playing around is all that should matter, so don’t you dare think this was a waste of time.
Ps. When my staff was conducting a google image search for silly bugger, the following entry was found on Urban Dictionary:
Silly Buggers
British origin.
Evolving from the term of abuse bugger, meaning a sodomite or irritating person. To play 'silly buggers' is to generally act the fool, lark about, waste time or generally mess things up. As illustrated by English band The Bus Station Loonies song "Playing Silly Buggers" (1995).
"They were too busy playing silly buggers to get the job completed in time".
I suppose this makes this entire post irrelevant. Sorry about that. Maybe this was a waste of time.
Pps. Click here: http://www.sillybuggers.org.uk/
Later days,
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