Christmas is Cancelled

Hey remember that episode of The Office where Michael’s heart is broken and he tries to take Christmas way from every one? It was all funny and stuff; but no one is laughing now.
(click here if you are unformiliar with this episode or just want to watch it again because The Office is awesome)

Please read the email below:

Risk Management Partners
Christmas Social – 19/21 December 2008
Newcastle

This year we are going to Newcastle.


Accommodation

This has been booked at the Hilton Hotel, Gateshead for the Friday and Saturday nights, with dinner on the Friday night and bed and breakfast on the Saturday and Sunday mornings. Dinner is to be taken informally on the Friday night, when you feel like it. We don’t need to all sit down together.

Saturday

We are off to Newcastle Races. A bus will pick us up at the hotel at 11.00 and take us to the racecourse where we will have a private room overlooking the racing. The format for the day is as follows :

11.30 Bucks Fizz reception
11.45 Buffet lunch
12.10 First race
15.00 Afternoon tea
15.25 Last race
16.30 Bar closes
16.45 Bus takes us back to the hotel

There is a strict dress code at the Premier Enclosure. Guys are requested to wear dress trousers and collared shirts. No denims, trainers, or informal attire is permitted.

There is nothing arranged for the Saturday evening. Once we are back at the hotel, everyone will be left to their own devices. People can go to the various dens of iniquity in Newcastle they so choose.

Costs

As you will be aware, due to the expenses and tax liability implications, the costs have to be considered very carefully. It has been decided that RMP will pick up the dinner and accommodation costs at the Hilton and the package costs for the racecourse. Any travel costs should be claimed back through expenses form.

Yeah, sounds awesome, right? Ok, now read this email:


I took part in Pat Gallagher's monthly Senior Managers conference call on Wednesday which quite frankly was not a pleasant experience. I say that from the point of view that Company results, particularly October's, were a disaster. Pat actually described them as a train wreck !

Given the above, the current economic outlook and the way things are stacking up for 2009 some fairly tough decisions have had to be made regarding expenses claims. With immediate effect the following measures will be introduced ;

1) All airfare travel expenses must be approved by me prior to travel and bookings can only be made through Expedia. Failure to comply with this instruction will result in expenses not being reimbursed.

2) All Christmas Parties are cancelled The Company will not reimburse any expenses for holiday get togethers for employees. This includes lunches, drinks,breakfast ect. Our pre Christmas get together in Newcastle will have to be cancelled and I am genuinely sorry but this is not a situation that allows me to negotiate exemptions for RMP. If you are committed to Christmas entertainment with Brokers or Customers please let me know before going ahead who is involved, likely cost and what the business justification is. At this stage I am not saying that they will have to be cancelled, but I need to be satisfied that there is some justification for going ahead with them. Again without prior clearance I will be unable to authorise payment.

3) Please, absolutely no gifts, gift vouchers and the like to anybody .

That’s right, J. Patrick Gallagher has cancelled Christmas. J. Patrick Gallagher, your heart is like 3 sizes too small. Who’s disappointed? This guy. And it’s the little people who suffer always suffer. Do you have any idea how incredibly drunk I would have gotten at the race tracks? The race tracks are filled with bad memories for me. I did a lot of things down there that I shouldn’t discuss in a family blog. The whole financial crisis is fine until it effects someone you love: namely me. Mine is the sum total of all financial suffering.

Later days,