A Nigerian Reason why NOT to vote for Obama

This conversation, which I swear I am not making up, took place between myself and my Nigerian flatmate. Please keep in mind the fact that my Niergian flatmate is a medical doctor.

Nigerian Flatmate: So, how is the American election going?
Me: The most recent polls show that Obama has a pretty substantial lead. It looks like he is going to win.
Nigerian Flatmate: Oh, that is not good at all.
Me (racially profiling): You don’t support Obama?
Nigerian Flatmate: No, I do not and I do not know how anyone who thinks about it logically could.
Me: Really? Why’s that?
Nigerian Flatmate: Well, you know that Obama is an African, yes?
Me: Well, his father was African. Obama was born in Hawaii.
Nigerian Flatmate: No, no, that does not matter. We see him as an African.
Me: Ok.
Nigerian Flatmate: He and I are brothers, you see. He is African; do you understand?
Me: Yeah, ok.
Nigerian Flatmate: Specially, he is a Kenyan. Do you understand?
Me: Yes
Nigerian Flatmate: Now what you must understand is that Kenya and Zimbabwe were both conquered by Rhodesia. People from these two places are very similar and think in similar ways. Do you know who Robert Mugabe is?
Me: Yes.
Nigerian Flatmate: Good. Now you see Mugabe and Obama are brothers. They are both from Rhodesia, yes?
Me: Um, yes?
Nigerian Flatmate: Now you know what Mugabe did to the economy of Zimbabwe? Well it is of course logical to think that if Mugabe and Obama are brothers they will think in the same way. Obama will do to the American economy exactly what Mugabe did to the Zimbabwean economy because they are the same. They are brothers. The American economy will be destroyed and that will be bad for the entire world. Do you see?
Me: …
Nigerian Flatmate: You must agree that having a person who thinks like Robert Mugabe will be bad for the American Economy, yes?
Me: well, yeah?
Nigerian Flatmate: Yes, it is so logical. I have written letters to the leaders of the Democratic Party; but they just do not seem to understand this. I am very worried to have Mugabe as president of the United States.
Me: … I would be too?

FACT CHECK:
As this is a very serious allegation, I asked my staff to do some research into my Nigerian flatmate’s claims. My staff found that before 1964 the name ‘Rhodesia’ referred to the territory of modern Zambia and Zimbabwe. The pliminary research indicates that Zambia and Kenya are different countries and seems to suggest that my Nigerian flatmate might be factually incorrect. My staff also located a map of Africa and it appears as though Kenya and Zimbabwe are pretty kinda far appart. I did, however, doctor the following photograph and it seems to be some pretty damming evidence. You be the judge.



Before we vote, we need to understand the details about the relationship between Barack Obama and Robert Mugabe. This sounds like a job for Bill O’Reilly.

Later days,